A young Keanu Reeves has a great line in Ron Howard’s 1989 film Parenthood. Talking to his future mother-in-law, who is overwhelmed by her troubled son and his disappointment with his father, Reeves’ character says, “You need a license to buy a dog, or drive a car. Hell, you need a license to catch a fish!
But they’ll let any butt-reaming a**hole be a father. ” No license is needed to be a parent. We don’t have to take a test and be approved by a state board of parenting.
We are literally left to our own devices to figure it out. Being a parent is a monumental commitment and undertaking. It is one of the biggest responsibilities anyone can imagine owning.
At its best, it is bliss. At its most challenging, we are on bended knee. We show up every day, negotiating unfamiliar territories, as our children go through the different stages of growth and development.
We do our best to prepare ourselves to make the right decisions for our children. We draw from the experiences our parents offered us. We mirror them because it’s what we know.
Some good and not-so-good, but we lean into its unequalled familiarity. We may do some research, read the latest parenting book or blog, or listen to a podcast. At the end of the day, it is solely up to us to make choices for our children’s well-being.
As an entrepreneur, I’ve questioned my fair share of investments. And on one or two occasions, usually during moments of exhaustion or self-reflection, I’ve even thought that being a parent might be one of the worst investments you could ever make. Think about it.
You invest an enormous chunk of your life, energy, time, and resources into your children, only to have them eventually leave you. The return on that investment? If you’re lucky, you get the holidays, birthdays, and maybe a call or a card on Mother’s or Father’s Day.
Of course, that’s sarcasm, meant for parents with slightly dark humor. But if you’re being honest, you’ve probably had a version of this thought cross your mind at least once. Fortunately, that thought makes me smile on a rough day.
It fades almost as quickly as it appears, giving way to the meaningful memories of family, love, and childhood. No matter what I’ve accomplished in life, nothing compares to being a parent. It is my greatest purpose, and serving my family is fulfilling in a way nothing can compare.
It all started when I met my wife. Then we chose to marry, build a home, and a family. At times, we had no idea where we were going, but we felt blessed to do it together.
The hope I felt the first time I looked into my children’s eyes. Or how it made my heart ache when I saw them sitting alone at the park or a birthday party. We want and need so much for our children; it is everything to us.
I believe that is why we feel so much with every step and turn in our children’s lives, planning and strategizing outings, events, and vacations to create memorable experiences. As they grow and life changes, we hunger for just one more with them. As they say, time is fleeting, and it truly is.
So what is the point of this blog? What earth-shattering revelation of awareness am I professing? Honestly, nothing really.
I am just a parent in the middle of raising our offspring through their teenage years. I know it is not an exact science. I know some days I am on point and others, I have no idea what I am doing.
Did I really know what I was signing up for when I chose to be a parent? Honestly, probably not. I don’t think anyone ever does.
But I do know this: I love my children with every breath I take. And I say that humbly, especially in the moments when I feel like I have two left feet and know I’m coming up short as a parent. I am always grateful and proud to be a parent.
The solace I find is the confidence that I do not have to parent alone. I have Kim, my wife and best friend. I also have other parents who fill our schools.
I lean into them and anchor myself when I feel lost and untethered. Every time I bend an ear or listen to a word of advice, I know I am in good company. I hope you know that you can always count on me, and that you ask the same of me.
Most importantly, I have God and prayer to guide me in being the best parent for my kids and the best teacher for yours.